Can I say that, as a person with anxiety and depression, you think this COVID19 is a perfect excuse to just stay locked up inside and not have to be around other humans. Then, you begin to miss your favorite hang out spot (which is where I'm typing this up at now) and get sick of always being at home.
Then, the next reality begins to set it that when you think you want to go out, that anxiety/depression fight begins. "Ugh, I don't feel like...."; "Ugh, I don't want to..."; "But I'm tired of being at home, I'm becoming anxious sitting inside all of the time".
The constant battle that was there before but now, worse because you were "required" to stay in other than necessities. Those necessities became your reprieve from always sitting at home but then, you got tired of going out again.
So, I guess saying all of that, this is not a anxiety ridden persons paradise...well, for some of us anyway. Seeing that anxiety is as different as the person who has it. So, I can't even speak for those that may even be dealing with things similarly as me.
Oh, yeah, you may be asking: "I wonder where her favorite hang out spot is?" Or, maybe you're not... but I will tell you anyway...lol...
As strange as it may seem, I like hanging out at a Harris Teeter in my town that has an upstairs for customers to just sit and relax. Free wifi and a great view of our Uptown (or, as some may say, Downtown), especially at night when the buildings are all lit up. Then, there's a cute little "shopping" area that I have always loved and it has been updated with some "newer" shops since I moved here in 1989 but one or two stayed the same.
Sorry, you didn't click on this for all of that did you? Well, it makes me happy! So, well, not sorry I guess...lol
Anyway.
Now, with the rest of the world being in this thing about 5-5.5 months deep (not including China because they were dealing with it before the rest of the world). I think a lot of us have gone stir crazy. Even some of us that are generally introverts and don't mind being at home. I can only imagine the extroverts if the introverts are feeling like we are about to just lose our minds sometimes. Don't worry extroverts, just find yourself some introvert friends if you don't have any already, I'm sure we can find you something to do: inside and outside lol...
So, back to the original reason for this post, that I really didn't have a way I wanted to go when I started anyway but I just knew that I was not as fine as I thought I'd be. My anxiety about going out has gotten a bit worse. Depression a bit worse because when I want to go out, sometimes I "can't" which makes things worse for me. I have a therapist I talk to on the phone at least once a month. Bouncing things off of him helps many times but usually, by the time our conversations are over, I am just drained and end up in a bit of a mood because sometimes, I am having to deal with things I hate dealing with but may mentally attack me anyway. And sitting at home all day with nothing but time on my hands with nothing to really distract me on the outside world at least a once a week, yeah, I'm a bit stir crazy too.
I guess I am typing all of this up for me but also for those that understand my ramblings and nodding your head at least a little, for you too.
None of us are alone in this. The entire world is battling this. We are in a new normal now. Just like those of us who were here when 9/11 happened, we had a new normal then too. We made it through that, we will make it through this just like they did during the Flu Pandemic of 1918.
Take care of yourselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically as best you can. Get help when you need it. If you can't get a counselor for whatever the reason may be, talk to family, close friends/associates, journal, laugh, cry, whatever it is you may need to do to get the [negative] emotions out. Don't hold them in. That is not good for you or for anyone else if you end up lashing out at others. We are under enough stress in these times as it is and of course, I am speaking of things well beyond COVID19. We have to find [healthy] ways to destress. Whatever works for you, the individual reading this.
We will be okay. Hopefully this will teach us to prepare for any future situations. Regardless of what they may be.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading this. I pray you are doing okay and can get the help you need to make it through this.
Bridget
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Need Help?
National Suicide Hotline
(800) 273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Maybe they can also find a way to get you any other help you may need as well.
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